Final Day

Today Started of with a Keynote speaker who talked about the gift of being Greek. This presentation gave a quick history of Greek Organizations and how they were built. This all lead into discussing the benefits that you get from being in a Greek Organization such as organization skills or an impressive array of interpersonal and intrapersonal skills. This was a great reminder of the benefits I am receiving from being a Fraternity man. It is always a breath of fresh air when you are reminded that you are doing something worth while.

The next section of the day was dedicated to block sessions. The first session I attended was called building blocks and was about creating a New Member Education program. I thought this was a great presentation and there was a lot for me to take from it. My chapters is so new that we have a lot to take from this and add to our Associate Member Process. It mapped out important facets of a good program: Brother/sisterhood bonds or learning the facts about the Fraternity and not just nationally but your own local history. The second session I went to was called Ringing the Doorbell: Saner, Healthier Sex in college. This was a very entertaining and was a great break from the presentations about growing your organizations. It was nice to be in a session that was all about personal growth.

Once the first two block sessions where over we had the affiliation lunch. This was a lot of fun for me and my Phi Kappa Theta Brothers really enjoyed. The only other Phi Kaps that were here were the Brothers from the chapter at WPI who we already have a good relationship with them so it was a really good time. After lunch we had some more interesting sessions to go to. I attended one amazing session about being a good leader. I was called being an ACTion HERO and was all about good qualities to have as a leader. The presenter was energetic and entertaining. The information was different than what i am use to hearing so it was very good. After that session I went to a very interesting session called Answering the Call. It was all about trying to take action towards an issue you see through the basic model the fictional superhero stories follow. It was really interesting to see something that I have great interest in, fictional superheroes like Batman, and see how you can address and issue in a way that would be mapped out in a story about them. This session also gave me a chance to reflect on the mission of Phi Kappa Theta and what it means to me. The final session of the day was a wrap up of the action planning session that was started the day before. In this we discussed a seven step model on how to settle confrontations, this was very good to have as an open discussion since the day before I was at a session about judicial meditations.

To end the day we had a very nice award banquet dinner. It gave the other delegates and myself a chance to dress in our best and see some amazing things that chapters our doing around the Northeast. Overall, it was another great and productive day at NGLA. Heading home in the morning.

Matthew D. Foss

Final Day of Sessions.

Now yesterday was intense, though today may have given it a run for it's money. This morning started with a trip to Dunkin Donuts, where as Nick and I were standing waiting for our breakfasts, a man came up to us and asked why we were so well dressed for a morning like this; and asked what company we worked for. We then told him that we were actually representing greek life at a conference, and he was so taken aback. He wished us to have a great time at our conference and to keep working toward what we are doing. It's good to see that Kevin was able to see through the stereotype of "oh you're in a frat, you must get hammered all the time", and see the "oh, you guys are fraternity men, you must be very fine, upstanding citizens, keep on being productive."

Once back on site, we started today off with our keynote speaker, Ginny Carroll. Her speech today was more about the aspects of greek life that we all know; our ritual, what that means to us and where that is going.

Marc Wayshak and I after I broke the board.

My first session today was Marc Wayshak's Outstanding Leadership in an Ever Changing World seminar. When he introduced himself, I found out that we have a few commonalities, such as local places we both frequent. He then began talking about his experience in sky diving with the 300 ways to die skydiving video and his jumper crazy Jason.

He stepped out of his comfort zone to go skydive, and that is definitely the first step. I quote Marc in saying "people usually don't take those first few steps, unwilling to step out of your comfort zone". We were then introduced to the '6 year old mindset', because 6 year olds are absolutely fearless. Two forms of the model are strategy: find someone you can emulate and copy the technique of, and mindset: as there is not one skill you can't learn from a book.



My parnter and I after
 breaking our boards

 The three mindsets that we were told of were of the Three P's, those of which being: Pay no attention to the negative voices, Picture yourself breaking through, and Persist absoluetly. To demonstrate that, he taught us how to break a board with our hand. That said, he had us write what our inFEARation was on the front of it. For example, mine is fear that I won't accomplish my goal of writing the entirety of my screenplay. I broke through my board first try. (picture left)

One of the quotes that really stood out to me in his session was "The most successful people fail the most." It's a concept that many people don't tend to realize, is that success only comes from failure. Very rarely does someone succeed at doing something the very first time.

The next session I attended was Grow a Backbone, by our keynote speaker Ginny Carroll, and we had two 'math' problems. Starting out the equation: competence+confidence=influence, and one equation I'll get to later. We defined qualities that make a positive and negative qualities in leaders.

We then went over the tips to build influence, which list as: get eyes wise, associate on purpose, be a quick study, ask good questions, be open to new insights, build your network, be present, know your values and mind your manners.

Some of these are more easy to recognize than others, like knowing your values, be a quick study, ask good questions and minding your manners, though just looking at the list I had no idea about what get eyes wide meant. It actually means to know the significance of the eye, look for sparklers and not dim bulbs, and beware of dishonest intentions. Association on purpose is to hang around people you learn from, and beware of CAVES or Creeping meatballs. A CAVE is a citizen against virtually everyone. Being present means more than just being at meetings, or being physically there. Study your demeanor, which is essentially everything you say without opening your mouth, pay attention, become a jotter and use meetings as a means of discovery.

We also sharpened our BS detectors by learning about baseline behavior. Learn to ask more toward minute details to weed out people who are fudging the truth a bit, but also offer an out and make it easier to get that person to tell you the truth. The second 'math' equation we were given was that of influence. Competence+confidence=purposeful risk.

The association lunch we had paired us with our brothers from WPI. Tony and Anthony were both at our regional conference, and Frank was one of the brothers there for our initiation, so it was great seeing the three of them again.

The choice of three sessions had a strong set of support at the presentation by Justin Jones-Fasu, who I went to a program of the day before. Be an ACTion Hero: The ACTions of Super Successful Student Leaders was where me and a handful of others of our delegation were. Justin knows how to put on a show, I will say that right now. He had a dramatic dance session detailing how had he truly loved someone who broke up with them he'd dance their affection back by his incredible moves at the song No Air. He explained the term HERO. H is for humbleness, and to know when to ask for help, and that it's alright to admit mistakes. There needs to be an ability to show an open environment, and not to be afraid to evaluate yourself and be able to admit flaws.

You need to be empowering, though you need to realize that you never want to have the best year/day/program/etc ever, because that can hamstring your organization with too high of expectations. You need to be able to empower others to be able to replicate what you are doing, and to be able to do succession planning and not make it so you are focusing only on you, know that you need to plan for the future.

The R is to be relational. You need to know who's who in your organization and know multiple strengths and weaknesses. Praise is a weird topic because some people love to be outwardly awarded by their accomplishments, while other people don't like making a big deal out of it.We were also told of the two key questions to ask, which are: Why did you originally join?, and what does a successful experience look like?

The O is optimism, You need to be realistic, but you don't need to be a downer. Optimism is more or less a simple topic.

That said, he then introduced us to his friend Jordan and his wife Danielle. Jordan is one of Justin's best friends, and showed us a picture of Justin and his wife, Jordan and Danielle, and another couple. Jordan and Danielle had been married for 9 months, and two weeks after the photo we saw, he told us that she was diagnosed with a very malignant form of cancer and she was given 4 months to live. She wasn't even 30. Her first response was "It's a win win situation, either I'll get better or I'll be in heaven.' Coming from someone who has lost people to cancer in the past I know how painful it is for cancer to take a loved one away from us. On top of that past quote, there was another quote that really stuck with me. "There are people who would love to have our bad days". How often do we complain about the internet being too slow, or not having anything fun to do? I know I complain about nearly everything, but that's something I want to change.

The final actual session I went to was Nathan Mitchell's Getting What You Want by Doing What Others Want, and we determined the difference between leadership and self leadership as a leader directs the group by actually guiding or directing, and they deal with being accountable. Self leadership is about knowing who you are and what you can do and youre ability to manage your communication, emotion and behavior to get there. The difference between the two is leadership is accountability, and self leadership is the accountability of yourself. Within Self leadership there is a list that we learned:
1-decide excatly what you want
2-write in detail and set a deadline
3-target initial knowledge, skills, and ability to achieve the goal
4-determine obstacles to overcome and reach your goal
5-identify those who can help you
6-detailed plan broken down by activity and organized by priority and sequence
7-immediately take action
8-evaluate results and if necessary change your approach.

The power of intention starts with getting clear about something you want then write it down, then get someone to keep you accountable to that goal, and take action everyday toward it as if it's impossible to truly fail.

With our time at NGLA coming to a close, I just want to thank everyone for a great conference, and I look forward to hopefully seeing some of these speakers again on our campuses, or at least keeping contact with them.

-In the words of Mahatma Ghandi, We must be the change we wish to see in the world,
DWYSYWD
Do what you say you will do, or Don't waiver, you start yourself with drive.

-Dan Eveline

Day 2: The Real Edition (Even though it's a Day Behind)

Hello wonderful friends,
So I promised I would explain my key words and elaborate on how my first day of sessions went so here it goes!

Sadie and I's Starbucks Adventure: We awoke at 7am which is a terrible time since we are nottttt morning people by any means. We headed downstairs after much grumbling about being seperated from our comfy beds and head to the Starbucks for some delicous coffee. We figured since it's wicked early, everyone else would just be in their pj's too but NOPE everyone else was dressed to badge! We looked so out of place and it was just so funny to us. I was impressed everyone else can function that early. So we made a mental note to get dressed first this morning.

Buy In or Get Out: This was the name of David Stollman's presentation which focused on "fraternal values, standards and what to do about those breaking them." He was all about real talk and took real Greeks' Facebook pictures that showed us in a negative way, like girls chugging wine and guys using paddles for hazing. He read a poem about the negative steroetypes we face and I was so angry listening to it because that poem did not properly respresent me as a sorority woman but it is how the public views us because of the Greeks who don't actually live their values.  He had some great quotes like "Friends say the things you want to hear, brothers and sisters say the things you need to hear" and "You are always wearing your letters, from the 1st time you put them on, they never come off." And he encouraged us as leaders to hold the Greeks who are not living their values to be accountable for their behavior and change, or to get out.

Small Groups: In our small groups, we broke up to discuss problems our organizations faced on campus and what influences we had control over and what we had no control over. A person in my session said we have no control over how the media protrays us as members in the Greek community, which many of us disagreed with. Alex Brown, from Keene State College, was leading our discussion and he had a great quote which I loved. It was "If we don't do dumb things, the media can't report it." It was so simple yet so true. Instead of trying to explain why you may have hazed or broken rules, just don't do the stupid behavior and you won't have to deal with the negative backlash.

No More Drama: Conflict Resolution Skills for Leaders: This was the first session I attended, run by Christopher Irving from the Miller Institute. It was about learning effective conflict resolution skills for situations that may arise in your chapter. His session was very interactive and lots of fun. He had us look at optical illusions and say what we saw. There were two different pictures with the illusion, so the point was that sometimes you need to change your perspective to see the whole picture. He also said we need to stop making assumptions if there is a conflict and listen to the whole story.

Understanding your LGBQ Broters and Sisters: This session was about promoting a better understanding of what struggles your LGBQ brothers, sisters and their whole community face simply because of the gender they love. It started out with a video called Love is Love and it flipped the perspective as if straight people were the minority and the gay community was the socially acceptable one. It was great way to change your perspective on things. The next activity was heart wrenching for me. We had to imagine we were members of the LGBQ community. Then we took a star and put down names of our best friend, communities we belong to, family members, our dream job and future life goals in each of the points. Then Alicia who was leading us, read different paths that each person could take. My colored star represented a person who was completely shunned from my family, friends, work and community because of coming out. I had to rip up my entire life written on the star and throw it to the floor and realize I have no future now because no one was supporting me.  It was a big reality check that many people face that same situation. The message was that we as Greeks need to still support our brothers and sisters, and show them that they still are supported and loved and that we are a safe place in the community for them.

Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself: This session was all about your Standards for membership and the incentives you provide to hold one another accountable. It was really good information that was presented. A point the stood out to me was that you shouldn't expect things from others if you wouldn't do them yourself. And to also set up realistic expectations for membership. Of course we all would love to have that 4.0 GPA and attend 100% of events and meetings, but those are unrealistic expectations which isunfiarly setting your sisters up for many Standards Board hearings. Also we need to look at what incentives are we giving girls. Are they only negative, like fines or hearings? Or do they include positive incentives like holding a dinner honoring girls who made points all semester or improving their GPA, small rewards or having to not pay a portion of their dues. These were all postive ideas for motivation to improve your attendance.

The Black Bear Saloon: Where we went to dinner and it was delcious! Only fitting that the BSU Bears go dine at the Black Bear!

Cheetah Footie PJs, Cathphrase and Ice Cream: Our pajama jammy jam was a big hit. I had cheetah footie pjs with cat faces on the feet so I won most fun, I was quite proud. We played Catchphrase, which I had never played before and it was highly entertaining. And lastly, Sadie and I ordered ice cream from Room Service. It was delivered to us and we had been told it would cost $8, when in fact it was $10.21....we didn't have the 21 cents so the nice delivery man said he would just pay it for us....but we felt TERRIBLE. There was no reason for him to pay our 21 cents, sooo we ran downstairs in our bare feet because we were such a rush to make it right, down to the front desk to deliver more money and tip the nice man. We righted the world and showed the Greeks do care and no one should take responsibility for what we owed. It was a nice moment, even if it was only for 21 cents!

So this was my real Day 2...the super long version, but I needed to get alllll the details out! Thanks for reading Bears. I'm going to sleep now since Day 3 was very eventful too...but you'll get the recap tomorrow. I'm a day behind, sorry friends.

NGLA 2012 Love,
Kristen

Can social media change the Greek world?

I've been thinking...and tweeting, blogging, and FBing.. (< not a word kids) about how effective use of social media could truly help elevate our community. Today I presented a session with 3 amazing colleagues Adam McCready from MIT, Courtney McKenna from Quinnipiac, and Laurel Peffer from Campuspeak, our session was called Tweet2Congruence and we live streamed our conversation on a large screen and posed questions, solicited feedback, and shared resources all via twitter. I loved it, it was one of those sessions you felt like giving a 100 high fives out after. #bsulife (see! there it is again) has really raised the bar for many departments using social media and I think as a result... a lot more people talk about good ol' Bridgewater State University than ever before.

I'm a one woman show for fraternity & sorority life at BSU so managing twitter, facebook, and recruiting bloggers is my job but the amazing things I get to post.. well that comes from my amazing students. I love reading these blogs, seeing their tweets, and checking out their status updates here at NGLA, there is learning happening everywhere (can you believe it OUTSIDE the classroom??) and they have the ability to share it with others in seconds.

I hope all this work on the social media ends helps us promote what we are REALLY about... we are passionate leaders who choose to live our organizations ideals and principals every day, for the rest of our lives, I also hope it also gives us the courage to challenge those who do not live our values.

Be bold, be courageous and tweet on brothers & sisters!

Good night NGLA!

"What's Your Action Plan?"

This is what out small group facilitators asked us at the end of session today, and to be honest at the time I wasn't completely sure. I knew that I wanted the Greek Conduct Board to be succesful, I want to continue to grow as a leader and take on more responsibilty, and I wanted to be a more proactive member of my chapter, but I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to do so. Needless to say I was a confused individual and had all these awesome ideas in my head but they were all jumbled together due to the "conference high" and I was unsure of what I wanted to do with everything I have learned. Now, before I tell you what my four goals are I am going to tell you about what I experienced today.

We began the day by waking up to what sounded like a fire alarm but it was actually just Kristen's alarm. We then made ourselves look presentable, went and got our Starbucks fix and got prepared for the day. Today's sessions began with a speaker who talked to us about "The Gift of Being Greek". She explained to us that these gifts were ritual, brotherhood/sisterhood, lifetime commitment, and depth of personal development. These are all ideas that we get from being Greek, and they all spoke deeply to me. I realized that when you join a sorority you truly are joining a sisterhood and it is for life. This is a promise that you make to something more than yourself, and I am glad that I have grown to apreciate this more.

My first session of the day was "Running a Self Governing Greek Judicial Board". This was awesome for me to go to because it showed me how Cornell runs their Judicial Board, and it also taught me what we can't have at BSU. It also made me realize what I truly want out of conduct board, but I will explain that more later in my goals. I think it is awesome that Cornell has this judicial board where the Greeks completely hold each other accountible, and it shows what strong leaders their Greeks are. I think that these members represent what it truly means to be a Greek, and it was great to see how other campuses run.

I then attended a session entitled "Be Strong, Be Confident: Empowering Sorority Women". This basically taught us to embrace our confidence and understand how great it is to be a sorority women. It reinforced everything I have found I have become since joining a sorority, and it was a great reminder of the growth in confidence and leadership I feel I have experienced since joining Delta Phi Epsilon.

We then attended our Affiliation lunches where we got to spend time with other members of our organizations. This was awesome because before this conference I have never met other members of Delta Phi Epislon. I can honestly say that I come from an amazing group of women, and it's awesome how well I connect with them.

Aften lunch Maribeth asked me to attend the NPC Area Meetings. This was so cool because we got to have a small group conversation with our NPC Area Advisor, Lynn Marano, and a couple other schools. I loved this because I truly feel that although I love my chapter and what my letters stand for my passion is completely with Panhellenic. I feel as though I thrive the most in Panhellenic, and I really apreciated Maribeth inviting me to this conversation. Thank you MB :)

My final session was "Making Meetings Matter". In this we learned about the negative aspects and disruptions of meetings and we also learned how to productively run a meeting. I enjoyed this because I hope that as my time in college grows I will take on more leadership roles, and will have to run meetings on my own.

The conference ended with a wrap up session with our small groups where we reflected on the conference and what we got out of it, and what we are going to bring back to our campuses. After this we had the Awards Banquet. Unfortunately, we did not win any awards, but I am still very proud of everyone nominated! Go Bears!

Before I end this post, I want to explain to everyone the four goals that I am taking on and will bring to my campus:

1. The first is to be a more active sister of Delta Phi Epsilon in holding my sisters up to always representing our letters. I am going to be proactive, and if I feel as though a sister is not representing our letters properly whether it be her actions or appearance on a particular day and letters involved, I will take it upon myself to confront her and help her make better choices about this. I learned today that if we are not proactive and don't help others with what see is wrong, then it won't be fixed.
2. My second goal is to plan all sorority women retreat for next semester. At the banquet tonight we were discussing the importance of bringing the sorority women together, and we decided that a retreat will be great bonding. We want to strengthen our Greek community, and this is one way to begin this.
3. Thirdly, I want to involve Panhellenic with a specific philanthropy that we focus on and work with. I want this philanthropy to be one that everyone is excited about so I am looking for suggestions, but I think this will be an awesome addition to an already fabulous Panhellenic Association!
4. My fourth and final goal is probably the most difficult one. I realized this weekend that before we can have a Greek Conduct Board/possibly a judiciary system we first need something along the lines of a  Greek Council, where elected members of the organization run open meetings where all Greek members can come and discuss what is going on in the community/get advice on situtations or issues or anything they seek advice for within their chapter. I think by doing this we will begin strenghting our community and the trust that could possibly someday result in a judiciary aspect. I hope to eventually come up with a powerpoint presentation for all chapters to see what this board truly is in hopes to gain their support. I want to thank Lexi for letting me help with this project, because it is something that is very close to me, and I hope that we continue to gain support from our Greek organization members.

I think this basically wraps up my post for tonight. I am way beyond tired, and can not wait to be able to sleep until 8:45 tomorrow morning instead of 7:15 :)

Much Greek and Bear Love,
Sadie

Bear Pride- Greek Advisor Edition

This is BSU's first year bringing a delegation to NGLA and every year I think to myself how all the stress of raising enough money and finding funding is 100% worth it. The enthusiasm and excitement from Bridgewater students to be here and soak up every bit of knowledge is truly awesome. I am so grateful to work with students who value and appreciate this opportunity.

David did a great job with Buy In or Get Out for the keynote and by the conversations the students had all day about it, they heard the message of holding our members accountable loud and clear. There is no relief in "thank goodness it was XXX organization and not mine" The reality is, what happens in any other Greek organization reflects ALL of us (yes, even us alumni members) and we have a responsibility to take ownership over it and be responsible about having the crucial conversations.

I was so happy to present a workshop with my good friend Cat Sohor from MIT. It came together when we chatted at the New England Greek Summit in October when we were talking about the idea that many Northeast Greek chapters think their brotherhood/sisterhood would be better if only they had a house. Cat and I had a great group of attendees who brainstormed creative ways to provide opportunities for brotherhood/sisterhood on your campus using what you have and benefiting from what is already happening on campus. (Shout out to Delta Phi Epsilon who made a Sisterhood event out of Program Committee's Italian Night last week!)

We had a great dinner out together and the conversations were non stop about the sessions they attended and the new things they learned. Again... none of this happens without this investment.

We concluded with the traditional Pajama Jammy Jam and the winner of the best pj's was.... Kristen Scoville by a landslide.. pics to follow :)

Stay well bears at home!

~Mb

Day 2

David Stollsman opened up this morning with a memorable, distinct, and comical speech. He is an engagingly powerful speaker who did a remarkable job delineating the prevalent issues with Greek stereotypes today. He showed us a slideshow of Greek brothers and sisters who were reflecting poorly on the Greek community through various means, including binge drinking, hazing, and unprofessionally inappropriate attire. One portion of his 75 minute presentation I won't forget was when he said that each Greek in the crowd was relieved when he or she did not see their letters in the montage. He addressed this because he believed we were thinking too independently. After all, if poor Greek images are portrayed by separate fraternities and sororities, then it has nothing to do with us. However, in reality, it is essential to Greek life's growth to maintain a strong comradery within the Greek community. Most importantly, we're not bound to collaborating with only our fraternity or sorority. We should always be working with all other Greek organizations because we share similar goals and objectives individually as well as in a group setting.

The first educational session I attended dealt with conflict management and even presented a detailed step by step process to address a conflict appropriately.
1. Identify there is a problem
2. Identify what is keeping you from acting.
3. When addressing the person, use the word, "I" instead of "we" because it less intimidating and offensive towards the person you are attempting to help.
4. Explain your concern calmly and respectfully.
5. Help the individual create a plan to address the concern.
6. Always offer support to the individual
7. Check in with the individual to ensure Step #5 is being followed unless the conflict is no longer existent.

I found the information garnered from this session helpful and resourceful, and I look forward to utilizing it in the future.

I went to an intriguing session earlier today on dynamic recruitment, which was presented by Matt Geik and John Rodriguez. Matt's enthusiasm was a significant factor in the success of the workshop. He elaborated on several key concepts John informed us of during chapter meetings. For example, there are three recruitment secrets. 1. You can't recruit who you don't know. 2. People don't join organizations. People join people. 3. You scare people. Be more normal. When meeting new people, it is vital to not shove Greek life down his or her throat. Instead, he advocated for the "F Them" treatment, which involves talking to the potential new members about family/friends, favorites, future, fun, and where they are from. Greek life should be the last thing you should be talking to them about because it creates an obvious sense of discomfort. Another important aspect of this session was the small activities approach. When attempting to integrate a PNM into a group setting to familiarize them with your brothers or sisters, do not exceed a group of 3-7 people. This approach's success is contingent upon doing an activity that is normal for them as well as maintaining the +1 ratio concept. The last part of the session I found insightful was the Values-Based Selection Process (VBSP). This involves having a sheet of paper describing your Greek organization's specific values and ideals you envision your PNMs to possess. After meeting with the PNM on several occasions, hand them this paper and ask them how they feel about it. This takes the interrogative pressure off you and allows the PNM to display any concerns with joining your organization in a more friendly and cooperative manner.

I attended another one of David Stollman's presentations later in the day, and it was just as passionate as his first. The topic was money and how we can finance doing almost anything in Greek life with the right mindset. He broke up the presentation into five solutions. The first called for recruiting new sources of income, which was described in further detail through recruitordie.com, RBC consultations, RBC coaching, national headquarters, and through the assistance of your Greek advisor. The second solution encouraged us to collect what is owed. To decrease the frustration of this inevitably arduous task, Stollman suggested various plans to ensure the fulfillment of these payments, including membership agreements (usually in contract form), explaining credit implications, collection agencies, and even going after the alumni who owe money. His third solution was the simplest and recommended lower expenses, which can be exercised by creating a budget, holding to the budget, and "keeping it simple." Solution #4 was to find alternatives. Stollman elaborated on this solution by explaining the benefits that can be brought about from SGA, local communities/companies, bartering, national headquarters, alumni, and other student organizations. His last solution encouraged fundrasing, and this became increasingly interactive for the entire group as a myriad of ideas were discussed. These ideas included a date auction, dance marathon, "volunteering" at Gillette Stadium, among many others.