Tuesday, March 3, 2015
It's your turn!
Now having learned so much information at NGLA, we are all super excited to bring it back. I cannot believe the amount of information I learned that will help benefit both my chapter and my Greek community. Of course everyone that attended intends to change the world, but we will only be able to do so much on our campus! Do you see yourself being a good leader in the Greek community? Are you looking to help us move forward, and be the best versions of ourselves that we can be? Not only do we need to be focusing on our campus, but do you think you'll be able to reach out to other schools and offer your support in helping them as well? If so, it's YOU that should be considering going to NGLA next year. I cannot speak highly enough of this opportunity, and how much I have learned while bonding with my fellow bears on this trip. I know that together we can make a difference, but we'll need you to help us keep moving forward. If you have any questions at all, feel free to reach out to absolutely anyone that went on this trip including Maribeth! :) Great bears go Greek, and great Greek help us get better!
Final Reflection
Overall, I would say I had a blast at NGLA. I was more than honored to be chosen to go and already have so many new ideas on how to apply what I learned to our campus. I am hoping to stay on Panhellenic eboard and will definitely try to implement some of these ideas in order to improve our campus as well as Greek life.
I would highly suggest to anyone to take the opportunity to go. I learned so many things from how to recruit better, how to apply you leadership on a resume, how to prevent sexual assault on campus, what is going on with the National Panhellenic Conference, how to be a better eboard officer, and so much more. Meeting with other Greek communities and learning what their doing was very helpful especially when we such a rapidly growing Greek community. It was insane to learn some campuses' Greek life is so huge. One person said they had 1300 girls come out for this past recruitment and yet Molly and I were ecstatic about having 100 girls register for ours.
Not only was it helpful to learn how to better our campus, but the memories I made with the delegates I went with were priceless. We stayed up late talking about life, bonding over the embarrassing pictures we took of each other and ordering domino's 20 minutes before it closes. I became so much closer to people in Greek life who I don't necessarily talk to that often and even some people in my own organization. These are memories and lessons that you can't always have within your own campus. Go outside your comfort zone and take the opportunity to be a better leader. NGLA was an experience I will never forget!
I would highly suggest to anyone to take the opportunity to go. I learned so many things from how to recruit better, how to apply you leadership on a resume, how to prevent sexual assault on campus, what is going on with the National Panhellenic Conference, how to be a better eboard officer, and so much more. Meeting with other Greek communities and learning what their doing was very helpful especially when we such a rapidly growing Greek community. It was insane to learn some campuses' Greek life is so huge. One person said they had 1300 girls come out for this past recruitment and yet Molly and I were ecstatic about having 100 girls register for ours.
Not only was it helpful to learn how to better our campus, but the memories I made with the delegates I went with were priceless. We stayed up late talking about life, bonding over the embarrassing pictures we took of each other and ordering domino's 20 minutes before it closes. I became so much closer to people in Greek life who I don't necessarily talk to that often and even some people in my own organization. These are memories and lessons that you can't always have within your own campus. Go outside your comfort zone and take the opportunity to be a better leader. NGLA was an experience I will never forget!
Final Day (sorry its late, oops!)
The last day of the conference was really eye opening. I went to a lot of sessions that I enjoyed. The first one was another Panhellenic focused one where we learned about the updates going on in the NPC world. I learned how important it is to the NPC to keep women and men separate when it comes to governing boards and keeping IFC and Panhellenic separate. I was also told about some judicial changes that were made which was interesting to learn about, especially since they will definitely affect me throughout my Panhellenic career in the near future.
The second session I went to was by the far most helpful. It was all about how to highlight your Greek leadership on a resume. The professor really capitalized on a lot of good points that I never would have thought about. I think its really important to understand how to appropriately utilize the leadership experiences we all have through Greek life. We have such unique opportunities as Greek leaders that can potentially be helpful and set us a part from the rest of candidates when it comes to landing a job and it would be a shame to not be able to properly use it for that reason. I emailed the professor asking him to send me the PowerPoint so I can share it with my chapter because it was very, very helpful information.
I joined Emma, our current Panhellenic President, and our Greek Adviser, Maribeth to meet with our area adviser. Ours was not present at the conference so we sat in with a different one but was able to share things going our in our Panhellenic community at BSU. We helped other chapters with some of the issues they are having by telling them things that have been working for us, such as the Murder Mystery Party that was held a few weeks ago.
The final session was very serious but I did enjoy it. Two women shared their stories about their experience with sexual assault. One girl was kidnapped by a stranger during high school and another was attacked on campus by someone she went to school with. What I found intriguing about the conversation, was that neither of these women were Greek when this happened. The one who was attacked in high school was never Greek. The one who was attacked on campus, joined Greek life 3 weeks after her attack. She said she never felt more safe anywhere other than a Fraternity house. This just further proved to me what we've been trying to show people: that Greek life is not the problem when it comes to sexual assaults. Yes, it happens within Greek life on some occasions but people are always so quick to judge when it comes to this topic and Greek life. Just because we are Greek does not mean we fall into the stereotypes of being alcoholic, crazy party-goers who drug girls and take advantage of them and haze their new members. We are some of the most distinguished leaders on campus who take our academics and reputation very seriously. We joined a sorority or fraternity to better ourselves and our community and surround ourselves with people who value the same things that we do. Greek life is not the problem, however we are trying to become a part of the solution.
The second session I went to was by the far most helpful. It was all about how to highlight your Greek leadership on a resume. The professor really capitalized on a lot of good points that I never would have thought about. I think its really important to understand how to appropriately utilize the leadership experiences we all have through Greek life. We have such unique opportunities as Greek leaders that can potentially be helpful and set us a part from the rest of candidates when it comes to landing a job and it would be a shame to not be able to properly use it for that reason. I emailed the professor asking him to send me the PowerPoint so I can share it with my chapter because it was very, very helpful information.
I joined Emma, our current Panhellenic President, and our Greek Adviser, Maribeth to meet with our area adviser. Ours was not present at the conference so we sat in with a different one but was able to share things going our in our Panhellenic community at BSU. We helped other chapters with some of the issues they are having by telling them things that have been working for us, such as the Murder Mystery Party that was held a few weeks ago.
The final session was very serious but I did enjoy it. Two women shared their stories about their experience with sexual assault. One girl was kidnapped by a stranger during high school and another was attacked on campus by someone she went to school with. What I found intriguing about the conversation, was that neither of these women were Greek when this happened. The one who was attacked in high school was never Greek. The one who was attacked on campus, joined Greek life 3 weeks after her attack. She said she never felt more safe anywhere other than a Fraternity house. This just further proved to me what we've been trying to show people: that Greek life is not the problem when it comes to sexual assaults. Yes, it happens within Greek life on some occasions but people are always so quick to judge when it comes to this topic and Greek life. Just because we are Greek does not mean we fall into the stereotypes of being alcoholic, crazy party-goers who drug girls and take advantage of them and haze their new members. We are some of the most distinguished leaders on campus who take our academics and reputation very seriously. We joined a sorority or fraternity to better ourselves and our community and surround ourselves with people who value the same things that we do. Greek life is not the problem, however we are trying to become a part of the solution.
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Final Reflection
Now that I’ve gotten back to Weygand and taken a much needed
nap, I’ve had time to reflect on NGLA. And although I’m still recovering from
the long days and early mornings, I’m grateful that I got to experience this
wonderful opportunity. Before this conference, I was honestly a little
concerned that I wouldn’t belong among all the other student leaders. After
all, I’ve been taught since grade school student government elections that
leaders are the people who jump up on stage and give long, inspirational
speeches. They’re the people who talk to everyone, know everyone, and while
that’s certainly a valuable skill (which I sometimes wish I had) that’s not who
I am. But at NGLA, what I learned above everything is that leadership isn’t all
about going over to the student sitting alone at lunch, striking up a
conversation and changing their lives. There are so many more ways to lead, and
being at NGLA validated that for me.
At the end of the day, I love my organization and will do
whatever I can to move it forward, to make it even better. NGLA gave me so many
new tools to make that happen, whether that’s something I can do myself or
something I can teach to my brothers who can build on it and carry it into the
future of our fraternity. For those in my chapter who also applied this year,
please, please apply again next year, the year after, every year that you are
eligible. You all have so much leadership potential and this is such a
fantastic opportunity to bring that out.
Thank you so much to MB and everyone else who made this
opportunity possible for me.
Reflection
I can't believe how much I have learned from NGLA, not only about leadership but also about myself. I learned that in order to be a great leader it is important to experience, reflect, evaluate, and then act. I've experienced and now is the time to reflect. The variety of knowledge available to student leaders at NGLA is incredible. All of the speakers have experienced success, sadness, disappointment, and dedication; it's wonderful how a large part of their life's work is communicating their stories to students, their only wish being that they educate students who act upon it. For those who say it's not easy to be Greek because of all the stereotypes and judgements, think again. We have an amazing support system from our Greek communities, our advisors (s/o to MB, you the real MVP), to people at headquarters. All of these people are apart of this to watch you and each other succeed. Going Greek has been one of the best decisions I've made and attending NGLA has supported this idea. I have been offered an amazing amount of opportunities to better myself and my community, words can't express how thankful I am (but they can try). The dedication I have seen from my fellow leaders was absolutely inspiring. I really wish that everyone could experience NGLA because there is so much invaluable knowledge there. My hope now that I'm back is to spread this knowledge. I'm very lucky to be part of such an exemplary Greek community and I can't wait for all of us who went to educate our peers on how to be the best we can be.
I'm Learning
I'm learning that as a Greek, I am light years away from where I want to be as a leader. I'm learning however, that that's okay. The young men and women I shared this experience with taught me a lot about myself, Yes even Jordan. I want to be short and sweet about my time at NGLA. I came here to grow as a leader and to say that I could bring information back to help my Chapter, all of IFC, and of course myself. I am a firm believer that I can do that now. I am very very very exhausted and it has been so real NGLA, but with this I am signing off, The real Panhel Pres, over and out. You're welcome.
Why BSU does it better
Day 2 of NGLA taught me a lot of useful tools, many of which I can take back to either my own Chapter, or The Interfraternity Council. Sessions on Judicial processes, and (re)defining the fraternity man showed me what it takes to break stereotypes, and control the bad habits that are happening on our campuses.
The real take I had on the day, after "people watching" for most of the day, and gaining a better understanding of how other Greek Communities work, and how they operate. Bridgewater, is simply put. Different. Our chapters, though so different find a way to come together and better ourselves to the highest level. Our chapters, though at times, have tension, and disagreements find a way to be a sound community and work toward a common goal.
I am proud to be a BSU Greek, and yeah that sounds corny and like I am writing this just to get points from MB, but I am not. I joined Phi Kappa Theta, to find a brotherhood, and what I got was a brotherhood (my own), another brotherhood who always has my back (Sigma Pi) along with other Fraternity men on campus who I have grown close with. On top of that I have a group of outstanding women who strive for greatness with their letters and sisters daily, while working towards a common Panhellenic goal.
I am proud to be a bear, and proud to be a Greek, no matter how corny and forced that sounds.
The real take I had on the day, after "people watching" for most of the day, and gaining a better understanding of how other Greek Communities work, and how they operate. Bridgewater, is simply put. Different. Our chapters, though so different find a way to come together and better ourselves to the highest level. Our chapters, though at times, have tension, and disagreements find a way to be a sound community and work toward a common goal.
I am proud to be a BSU Greek, and yeah that sounds corny and like I am writing this just to get points from MB, but I am not. I joined Phi Kappa Theta, to find a brotherhood, and what I got was a brotherhood (my own), another brotherhood who always has my back (Sigma Pi) along with other Fraternity men on campus who I have grown close with. On top of that I have a group of outstanding women who strive for greatness with their letters and sisters daily, while working towards a common Panhellenic goal.
I am proud to be a bear, and proud to be a Greek, no matter how corny and forced that sounds.
That's All Folks
This is going to be quite short because I am just exhausted from this weekend, So here is my last day at NGLA summed up. #howtobelessawkward
by Antonio Neves was a packed session today. Although I am still very awkward
and will always be, it was a very informative session. He focused on small talk and how to be
successful. His first point was to make the person want to turn up the volume.
If someone was watching a video of you on mute would they turn the volume up.
Be interesting, but don’t make everything about you. Listen and be authentic.
Be the most interesting person in the room, are some of the main points that
will make you less awkward. The best part of my day though was having lunch
with other Phi Sigma Sigma sisters. This was the first time I have spent with
members of Phi Sigma Sigma outside of my own chapter. I just wish we had more
time together. The short period of time we spent together I learned the most. I
have learned a lot this weekend and Im very excitied to bring it back to campus
so we can improve and win so many awards at NGLA next year. It has been an
honor representing BSU here at NGLA. Panhel Pres over and out.
When the lights go down on NGLA
Very quickly NGLA has come to a close. It is the last day and we are heading to our key note speaker who forced us to make new friends. She actually had us get up and move around the room to a new seat. My new friend was a Gamma Phi Beta woman from Rutgers named Janine
. Through conversation I learned she was very proactive considering that she was on Panhel as a sophomore. After this speaker we all broke up into our sessions until our affiliation lunch. At lunch I made some connections with our regional director, Joe Turk and the executive director Mike Ayalon. This was a little weird to me at first because these men were so down to earth. Luckily, Mike was heading to the same session I was after lunch so I got to chat with him and Jordan for a little longer.
T.J Sullivan was our presenter, and he was by far the most inspirational speaker I had listened to during my whole NGLA experience. T.J. made me question everything about the dynamics of chapter. Through his lecture he compared going to chapter and marketing products in the real world. Some people make the mistake of chapter needing to be all about business but when this is how it is, people become distracted and uninterested. This leads to an unproductive chapter or so T.J says. He challenged us to go out of the norm, mix it up and eventually people who weren't usually active, will become more active. Leaving the meeting, myself and Jordan had plenty of information to bring back to our chapter in terms of restructuring chapter dynamics.
Lastly, the awards banquet started and everyone was stressed to impress. Unfortunately, we didn't win anything, but we did take some pretty sweet pictures on the stairs before retiring to our rooms and ordering dominos at 2 in the morning.
Overall, my NGLA experience was well worth it and very eye opening in terms of leadership roles. It has inspired me to strive for more in the positions i am in and to also strive for more positions of leadership. Through the Key note speakers and individual sessions I have gained a lot of knowledge in Anti-hazing, unrecognized organizations, how to build my resume and motivating unmotivated members. I had not recently been on any trips or worked with many members outside of my own organization before, so this trip has served as a segway into what i hope will be my contined outreach into the BSU greek community! I would just like t thank all of those who i was able to share this experience with, to the people who had chosen me to attend this prestigious conferences, and to my advisors for helping us get to the point we are at in our leadership positions. #NGLA15 #bears #sigmapi #lookatmichael
. Through conversation I learned she was very proactive considering that she was on Panhel as a sophomore. After this speaker we all broke up into our sessions until our affiliation lunch. At lunch I made some connections with our regional director, Joe Turk and the executive director Mike Ayalon. This was a little weird to me at first because these men were so down to earth. Luckily, Mike was heading to the same session I was after lunch so I got to chat with him and Jordan for a little longer.
T.J Sullivan was our presenter, and he was by far the most inspirational speaker I had listened to during my whole NGLA experience. T.J. made me question everything about the dynamics of chapter. Through his lecture he compared going to chapter and marketing products in the real world. Some people make the mistake of chapter needing to be all about business but when this is how it is, people become distracted and uninterested. This leads to an unproductive chapter or so T.J says. He challenged us to go out of the norm, mix it up and eventually people who weren't usually active, will become more active. Leaving the meeting, myself and Jordan had plenty of information to bring back to our chapter in terms of restructuring chapter dynamics.Lastly, the awards banquet started and everyone was stressed to impress. Unfortunately, we didn't win anything, but we did take some pretty sweet pictures on the stairs before retiring to our rooms and ordering dominos at 2 in the morning.
Overall, my NGLA experience was well worth it and very eye opening in terms of leadership roles. It has inspired me to strive for more in the positions i am in and to also strive for more positions of leadership. Through the Key note speakers and individual sessions I have gained a lot of knowledge in Anti-hazing, unrecognized organizations, how to build my resume and motivating unmotivated members. I had not recently been on any trips or worked with many members outside of my own organization before, so this trip has served as a segway into what i hope will be my contined outreach into the BSU greek community! I would just like t thank all of those who i was able to share this experience with, to the people who had chosen me to attend this prestigious conferences, and to my advisors for helping us get to the point we are at in our leadership positions. #NGLA15 #bears #sigmapi #lookatmichael
It's been real NGLA!
Time has truly flown this weekend. NGLA is coming to an end and this final day of sessions was pretty enlightening. I especially enjoyed the keynote speakers today... So let me break down my day.
We began the morning listening to two keynote speakers from PhiredUp. Having gone to two Sigma Pi Mid-Year Leadership Conferences in my past, I've had the privilege of listening to Vince Fabra speak on behalf of PhiredUp productions before. The only thing that disappointed me was the fact that these two speakers used more or less the same "personal" anectdotes that Fabra did at MYLC. This just led me to believe that they use generic and similar stories to try and get their point across. Fortunately for me, this session served its purpose. I met a TKE from Manhattan, who was extremely friendly. Our conversation got deep real quick when we started talking about our personal lives and getting past the "name tag conversation." At the end of the keynote, me and my TKE friend added each other on FB. I wished him well on his upcoming Nicaragua trip... Hopefully we have time to chat in later months!
I went to four sessions today... Taking at least one piece of info that I can bring back to BSU. However, there is one session that truly stood out to me - "The Apathy Myth: Real Answers for Unmotivated Members," presented by T.J. Sullivan. This was one of the most eye-opening sessions I've ever been to in my leadership conference history. Not only is T.J. an amazing presenter in terms of content, he truly knows how to engage an entire room right after lunch. During this session, T.J. constantly challenged us to try new things within our chapters because simply, why not? I have a few ideas of changing seating arrangements in my chapter in order to better encourage chapter participation. This session just truly made me think outside of the box and not be scared to try new things. The truth of the matter is, if it doesn't work, we just revert back. It's hard to sum up into words how mind altering this session was - but I'll let my actions speak for themselves when I get back.
The rest of the conference is enjoyable in terms of session content and the final keynote speaker. The final thing I would like to talk about is how awesome it was to network with other Sigma Pi's. I've been to three national Sigma Pi conferences, but I've never had this amount of time to sit and network with high-level executive officers from the International Office. The amount of face time I got with Executive Director Mike Ayalon was awesome! Just having the CEO of your fraternity know your name and location and wanting to keep in contact with you is a great feeling. I'm thankful for having this opportunity to network with the many Greeks in the Northeast as well as my fellow brothers. NGLA was not what I was expecting... I gained a lot more from attending than I thought I would. Thank you for a great time! I can't wait to bring all of this insightful knowledge back to my chapter.
We began the morning listening to two keynote speakers from PhiredUp. Having gone to two Sigma Pi Mid-Year Leadership Conferences in my past, I've had the privilege of listening to Vince Fabra speak on behalf of PhiredUp productions before. The only thing that disappointed me was the fact that these two speakers used more or less the same "personal" anectdotes that Fabra did at MYLC. This just led me to believe that they use generic and similar stories to try and get their point across. Fortunately for me, this session served its purpose. I met a TKE from Manhattan, who was extremely friendly. Our conversation got deep real quick when we started talking about our personal lives and getting past the "name tag conversation." At the end of the keynote, me and my TKE friend added each other on FB. I wished him well on his upcoming Nicaragua trip... Hopefully we have time to chat in later months!
I went to four sessions today... Taking at least one piece of info that I can bring back to BSU. However, there is one session that truly stood out to me - "The Apathy Myth: Real Answers for Unmotivated Members," presented by T.J. Sullivan. This was one of the most eye-opening sessions I've ever been to in my leadership conference history. Not only is T.J. an amazing presenter in terms of content, he truly knows how to engage an entire room right after lunch. During this session, T.J. constantly challenged us to try new things within our chapters because simply, why not? I have a few ideas of changing seating arrangements in my chapter in order to better encourage chapter participation. This session just truly made me think outside of the box and not be scared to try new things. The truth of the matter is, if it doesn't work, we just revert back. It's hard to sum up into words how mind altering this session was - but I'll let my actions speak for themselves when I get back.
The rest of the conference is enjoyable in terms of session content and the final keynote speaker. The final thing I would like to talk about is how awesome it was to network with other Sigma Pi's. I've been to three national Sigma Pi conferences, but I've never had this amount of time to sit and network with high-level executive officers from the International Office. The amount of face time I got with Executive Director Mike Ayalon was awesome! Just having the CEO of your fraternity know your name and location and wanting to keep in contact with you is a great feeling. I'm thankful for having this opportunity to network with the many Greeks in the Northeast as well as my fellow brothers. NGLA was not what I was expecting... I gained a lot more from attending than I thought I would. Thank you for a great time! I can't wait to bring all of this insightful knowledge back to my chapter.
Phired Up For The Last Day Of NGLA
Today was our last day of NGLA and jammed pack with stuff we learned and experienced. The day started with a keynote from the Phired Up team, Taylor and Tina. The keynote was very interactive and we got to partner up with a brand new friend we hadn't met before. From there we learned how to have better conversations with others in order to make genuine connections with good conversations. The keynote really put into context how humans are social people and we aren't programmed to always be on our phones. It was nice having an actual conversation with someone I just met that didn't include just the basic introduction questions.
My first workshop was 8 secrets to changing the culture of a chapter. All 8 steps were found through researching what makes a strong chapter. The most important secret I learned is number 6, failure is going to happen. A lot of speakers talked about risk this weekend. Risking things is tough because usually the one thing on your mind is what if you fail. Thinking about it in a perspective of failure will happen no matter what, though, really helps. You never know if something will work until you try it, trying and failing is better than not trying at all ,as scary as that is. Also, in terms of delegation, allowing others to try and fail is important. It's easy to try and do it yourself because you might know you can get it done the way you want. It's important to empower others, sometimes they won't follow through, but a lot of the time they will. It's important to allow other members to try and fail, because in turn they will learn and fixing those mistakes will help to improve your chapter.
My second workshop was called How to Create Your Own Luck. We were given three steps for this; turn up the volume, find the edge, and be associated with greatness. Turning up the volume is giving 100% even when nobody is looking. When people view you when you think they aren't looking will you want to listen in more, or put them on mute? If you're always giving 100%, you will be ready for your opportunity when it comes. The second step, finding the edge, means choosing excitement over fear. If you don't feel butterflies on a daily basis, you aren't living on the edge. By picking the butterflies and excitement you are choosing yourself instead of letting fear control you. The last tip, being associated with greatness, means surrounding yourself with those that will build you up and make you better, your allies. Allies push you to be the best you can be. Stop surrounding yourself with thieves. Thieves drain your potential and only take from you. It doesn't mean they are necessarily bad people, it just means they aren't going to be the people that help you become successful in life.
My third workshop was The Apathy Myth. I really loved this workshop. I thought it brought a lot of points that will be great to bring back to the chapter. We discussed the law of thirds which really hit me. The top third are usually the leaders, the ones who balance the sorority on top while juggling everything else. The middle third are the ones who are totally willing to help you, but are also juggling a lot of other things equally. The bottom third don't show up to things, they just are not into the organization any more. We focus so much on the bottom third in a chapter that the middle third, the ones who have real potential, are neglected. You can't change people, you can help them but they will still be the same person at the end of the day, so stop focusing on the bottom who will most likely never be on board.
My fourth workshop was Accessible Leadership Without a Title. In this workshop, like the last, we talked a lot about apathetic members. We did a lot of case studies on how to handle the most difficult, target members. The main three member types are the Billy Madisons (Don't do what they are supposed to but go to the social aspects), the Tony Montanas (aggressive) and the Scooby and Shaggy pair that was just lazy. This session was one of the most interactive I had been in. The case studies allowed us to discuss what's going on in our chapters and figure out innovative ways to deal with these difficult people.
The last key note was, understandably called, At The End of the Day. It pretty much recapped everything we learned at NGLA and how we should implement it into our chapters as a slow process.
NGLA was such a great experience. I learned so much from all the workshops I went to. I can't wait to bring my new ideas to chapter and start implementing some positive change!
My first workshop was 8 secrets to changing the culture of a chapter. All 8 steps were found through researching what makes a strong chapter. The most important secret I learned is number 6, failure is going to happen. A lot of speakers talked about risk this weekend. Risking things is tough because usually the one thing on your mind is what if you fail. Thinking about it in a perspective of failure will happen no matter what, though, really helps. You never know if something will work until you try it, trying and failing is better than not trying at all ,as scary as that is. Also, in terms of delegation, allowing others to try and fail is important. It's easy to try and do it yourself because you might know you can get it done the way you want. It's important to empower others, sometimes they won't follow through, but a lot of the time they will. It's important to allow other members to try and fail, because in turn they will learn and fixing those mistakes will help to improve your chapter.
My second workshop was called How to Create Your Own Luck. We were given three steps for this; turn up the volume, find the edge, and be associated with greatness. Turning up the volume is giving 100% even when nobody is looking. When people view you when you think they aren't looking will you want to listen in more, or put them on mute? If you're always giving 100%, you will be ready for your opportunity when it comes. The second step, finding the edge, means choosing excitement over fear. If you don't feel butterflies on a daily basis, you aren't living on the edge. By picking the butterflies and excitement you are choosing yourself instead of letting fear control you. The last tip, being associated with greatness, means surrounding yourself with those that will build you up and make you better, your allies. Allies push you to be the best you can be. Stop surrounding yourself with thieves. Thieves drain your potential and only take from you. It doesn't mean they are necessarily bad people, it just means they aren't going to be the people that help you become successful in life.
My third workshop was The Apathy Myth. I really loved this workshop. I thought it brought a lot of points that will be great to bring back to the chapter. We discussed the law of thirds which really hit me. The top third are usually the leaders, the ones who balance the sorority on top while juggling everything else. The middle third are the ones who are totally willing to help you, but are also juggling a lot of other things equally. The bottom third don't show up to things, they just are not into the organization any more. We focus so much on the bottom third in a chapter that the middle third, the ones who have real potential, are neglected. You can't change people, you can help them but they will still be the same person at the end of the day, so stop focusing on the bottom who will most likely never be on board.
My fourth workshop was Accessible Leadership Without a Title. In this workshop, like the last, we talked a lot about apathetic members. We did a lot of case studies on how to handle the most difficult, target members. The main three member types are the Billy Madisons (Don't do what they are supposed to but go to the social aspects), the Tony Montanas (aggressive) and the Scooby and Shaggy pair that was just lazy. This session was one of the most interactive I had been in. The case studies allowed us to discuss what's going on in our chapters and figure out innovative ways to deal with these difficult people.
The last key note was, understandably called, At The End of the Day. It pretty much recapped everything we learned at NGLA and how we should implement it into our chapters as a slow process.
NGLA was such a great experience. I learned so much from all the workshops I went to. I can't wait to bring my new ideas to chapter and start implementing some positive change!
No one told me there was crying at NGLA...
Our last day at NGLA was a blast, and definitely long to say the least. Today I attended: Making Change Happen: Understanding How to Implement Your Action Plan, DUI: A Powerful Lesson, Will Work For Leadership, and Accessible Leadership: Empowering Members Without a Title.
Having seen so many speakers today, you think it would all be one big blur. And...it really is. For the most part I'll really have to go back within my notes to be able to really speak in depth about what I learned in certain sessions; except for one. This one left me hooked, speechless, overwhelmed, and quite honestly scared. Myself and two fellow bears were some of the last individuals in this Marriott Ballroom, because we couldn't pull ourselves together to dry our eyes fast enough. Mark Sterner was just a typical college student in Greek Life, like all of you and I. The only difference? He was convicted of three counts of DUI manslaughter; those three deaths being his best friends, also known as his brothers.
Three months away from graduating, Mark Sterner and his four fraternity brothers headed for Florida for spring break, for what they had thought was going to be the time of their lives. And it was! The guys were staying for 6 days down in Florida, hoping to have some fun and just be their goofy ol' selves. Being the typical fraternity brothers that they were back then; every night they would designate a sober driver to make sure that everyone got home okay. On the 6th night...everyone had already been the sober driver once, who would step up to do it? Naturally all the guys came up with a plan in which they thought would resolve their situation. "Whoever was the least drunk at the end of the night, would be the one to drive home." Marks presentation started off by him showing us a 5 minute home video of their night leading up to their fun adventures at the local bar. The video started off showing all of the guys taking shots of alcohol in their letters, and having them all talk about how they were going to have the time of their lives on this last night. After fully drinking a couple of bottles of hard liquor as a group, the guys moved into the car. The guys strategically chose the closest bar to where they were staying, so that it would be a quick drive both to and from the bar. In this home video it shows Mark in the driver seat reaching all the way up to 100 miles an hour, on a 35 mile per hour street. Fortunately the guys made it safely to the bar, and were dancing their butts off to every song that came over the speakers. Mark explained that since the bar was a little emptier than expected, the guys were drinking more shots and beers than they had intended. The home video ended with all of the guys just joking around and dancing like goofballs on the dance floor, truly enjoying the last night of their spring break trip.
Less than 15 minutes after turning off the camera, Mark was designated as the driver who would be driving home since he was the least drunk. Having a blood alcohol level of 1.7, Mark jumped behind the wheel and started his way back to where they had been residing. Going the average speed limit of 35 miles per hour, Mark had almost successfully driven to their destination, until their front wheel feel off the side of the road. Two weeks later, Mark regained his consciousness to discover his brother sitting next to him, while he lays unable to move in a hospital bed. His brother openly explains that they had been in a car accident; and three of his best friends had died.
At the beginning of this presentation I thought to myself, I'm not like this guy.....I'm not like his story. I don't drink like this, I would never drive drunk, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't. But little by little Mark made us realize that we really all are in the same position. It doesn't have to be YOU doing this, that this could happen to anyone in your life, at anytime. He made us think about some of our closest friends and family, and what we would do if we had received a phone call at 3AM telling us that they may only have a certain amount of time to live. Marks family had received a call at 3AM telling them to get to Florida as soon as possible, as they didn't think Mark would be alive much longer. Being stuck in their hometown in Pennsylvania, his family was unable to get a flight until 10:30AM. In anyone else's life, 3AM-10AM would be a quick nap, but waiting to possibly go see your family member dead, seemed like an eternity to Mark's family. His mother wanting to have a constant update would call the hospital every half hour, in which Mark's nurse would interrupt her to say that his condition had not changed. After hours of having the nurse interrupt her, at 6:30AM Mark's mother was shocked to have not been interrupted. The nurse was silent. As Mark's mother questioned to see if the nurse was still on the line, she politely replied by explaining that Mark was no longer breathing on his own, and they didn't believe he would be alive much longer. After another 30 minutes had passed, Mark's mother was stuck. She couldn't force herself to call that hospital, as she was now terrified that she would be told Mark was officially pronounced dead.
Mark's mother, father, two brothers and sister all traveled down to Florida, praying that Mark would still be alive when they got there. During those two weeks that Mark was unconscious, he had to be revived a total of three times. In the middle of his first week of being unconscious, he opened his eyes to see his parents and one sibling in the room; not understand why he couldn't move and why suddenly his family was around him, he fell back into an unconscious state. When Mark did regain consciousness, he was read his rights by the police officers in the room, prior to them taking his fingerprints and mug shot, all while he still lay resting in his hospital bed. Now, rather than being the first in his family to graduate from college, Mark was to be known as the first in the family to go to prison.
Stop and put yourself in Mark's shoes. Having just found out that three of your best friends died, one lived, and you yourself can't move due to how much damage your body received, what would you be thinking? Mark was thinking of the future. How would be tell their parents? How in the world do you tell your college friends parents, that their child had died, from something that could have been prevented from buckling up their seat belt, and having one sober driver? They were THREE MONTHS from: graduating, real jobs, real apartments, and real lives. Mark goes on to tell us that all three of the men who died, had girlfriends......girlfriends they had planned to propose to, not long after graduating. How do you tell three separate women, that you were the reason they would not have a fiance in three months, that their future husband, future father of their children....was dead? Luckily for Mark, his friends parents weren't looking to press charges, and he was only sentenced to 3 years in prison....rather than the 45 it could have been. Having been convicted of 3 separate murders, Mark was sentenced to a terrifying prison, full of individual who do the unthinkable crimes we often only see happen in the movies. Mark feared for his life, every minute of everyday. Mark was never fully sure if he would live to see the next day, and what could potential happen if he did survive. Mark explains that today he would go to the worst prison in the world for the rest of his life, just to be able to get his three best friends back. Just to get his three best friends 10 more minutes on this earth....just so they could say goodbye to their families. Ever since the accident, Mark has tried to reach out to his friend that survived the car accident, but he refuses to talk to him, knowing it would bring up such terrible memories. Mark calls his friend every time that he is in California near where he resides.......but is always ignored.
Today Mark travels the country sharing his story with millions. Constantly filling eyes with tears, and bring students to the realization that this scenario is REAL. This could be a story in your life, in just one blink of an eye. It's important to tell our families, friends, fraternity brothers and sorority sisters how much we love and appreciate them, because we never know when the last time we'll ever see them could be. Be the change in your community, and help make sure this doesn't happen to you or someone you know. Mark was just like you and I, saying "I wouldn't....I wouldn't.....that's not me", but it became him....and he will never be able to live another day in his life, without thinking about his three brothers that died. Do more than just tell your loved one's that you care about them, truly show them and make a difference in their lives.
Having seen so many speakers today, you think it would all be one big blur. And...it really is. For the most part I'll really have to go back within my notes to be able to really speak in depth about what I learned in certain sessions; except for one. This one left me hooked, speechless, overwhelmed, and quite honestly scared. Myself and two fellow bears were some of the last individuals in this Marriott Ballroom, because we couldn't pull ourselves together to dry our eyes fast enough. Mark Sterner was just a typical college student in Greek Life, like all of you and I. The only difference? He was convicted of three counts of DUI manslaughter; those three deaths being his best friends, also known as his brothers.
Three months away from graduating, Mark Sterner and his four fraternity brothers headed for Florida for spring break, for what they had thought was going to be the time of their lives. And it was! The guys were staying for 6 days down in Florida, hoping to have some fun and just be their goofy ol' selves. Being the typical fraternity brothers that they were back then; every night they would designate a sober driver to make sure that everyone got home okay. On the 6th night...everyone had already been the sober driver once, who would step up to do it? Naturally all the guys came up with a plan in which they thought would resolve their situation. "Whoever was the least drunk at the end of the night, would be the one to drive home." Marks presentation started off by him showing us a 5 minute home video of their night leading up to their fun adventures at the local bar. The video started off showing all of the guys taking shots of alcohol in their letters, and having them all talk about how they were going to have the time of their lives on this last night. After fully drinking a couple of bottles of hard liquor as a group, the guys moved into the car. The guys strategically chose the closest bar to where they were staying, so that it would be a quick drive both to and from the bar. In this home video it shows Mark in the driver seat reaching all the way up to 100 miles an hour, on a 35 mile per hour street. Fortunately the guys made it safely to the bar, and were dancing their butts off to every song that came over the speakers. Mark explained that since the bar was a little emptier than expected, the guys were drinking more shots and beers than they had intended. The home video ended with all of the guys just joking around and dancing like goofballs on the dance floor, truly enjoying the last night of their spring break trip.
Less than 15 minutes after turning off the camera, Mark was designated as the driver who would be driving home since he was the least drunk. Having a blood alcohol level of 1.7, Mark jumped behind the wheel and started his way back to where they had been residing. Going the average speed limit of 35 miles per hour, Mark had almost successfully driven to their destination, until their front wheel feel off the side of the road. Two weeks later, Mark regained his consciousness to discover his brother sitting next to him, while he lays unable to move in a hospital bed. His brother openly explains that they had been in a car accident; and three of his best friends had died.
At the beginning of this presentation I thought to myself, I'm not like this guy.....I'm not like his story. I don't drink like this, I would never drive drunk, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't. But little by little Mark made us realize that we really all are in the same position. It doesn't have to be YOU doing this, that this could happen to anyone in your life, at anytime. He made us think about some of our closest friends and family, and what we would do if we had received a phone call at 3AM telling us that they may only have a certain amount of time to live. Marks family had received a call at 3AM telling them to get to Florida as soon as possible, as they didn't think Mark would be alive much longer. Being stuck in their hometown in Pennsylvania, his family was unable to get a flight until 10:30AM. In anyone else's life, 3AM-10AM would be a quick nap, but waiting to possibly go see your family member dead, seemed like an eternity to Mark's family. His mother wanting to have a constant update would call the hospital every half hour, in which Mark's nurse would interrupt her to say that his condition had not changed. After hours of having the nurse interrupt her, at 6:30AM Mark's mother was shocked to have not been interrupted. The nurse was silent. As Mark's mother questioned to see if the nurse was still on the line, she politely replied by explaining that Mark was no longer breathing on his own, and they didn't believe he would be alive much longer. After another 30 minutes had passed, Mark's mother was stuck. She couldn't force herself to call that hospital, as she was now terrified that she would be told Mark was officially pronounced dead.
Mark's mother, father, two brothers and sister all traveled down to Florida, praying that Mark would still be alive when they got there. During those two weeks that Mark was unconscious, he had to be revived a total of three times. In the middle of his first week of being unconscious, he opened his eyes to see his parents and one sibling in the room; not understand why he couldn't move and why suddenly his family was around him, he fell back into an unconscious state. When Mark did regain consciousness, he was read his rights by the police officers in the room, prior to them taking his fingerprints and mug shot, all while he still lay resting in his hospital bed. Now, rather than being the first in his family to graduate from college, Mark was to be known as the first in the family to go to prison.
Stop and put yourself in Mark's shoes. Having just found out that three of your best friends died, one lived, and you yourself can't move due to how much damage your body received, what would you be thinking? Mark was thinking of the future. How would be tell their parents? How in the world do you tell your college friends parents, that their child had died, from something that could have been prevented from buckling up their seat belt, and having one sober driver? They were THREE MONTHS from: graduating, real jobs, real apartments, and real lives. Mark goes on to tell us that all three of the men who died, had girlfriends......girlfriends they had planned to propose to, not long after graduating. How do you tell three separate women, that you were the reason they would not have a fiance in three months, that their future husband, future father of their children....was dead? Luckily for Mark, his friends parents weren't looking to press charges, and he was only sentenced to 3 years in prison....rather than the 45 it could have been. Having been convicted of 3 separate murders, Mark was sentenced to a terrifying prison, full of individual who do the unthinkable crimes we often only see happen in the movies. Mark feared for his life, every minute of everyday. Mark was never fully sure if he would live to see the next day, and what could potential happen if he did survive. Mark explains that today he would go to the worst prison in the world for the rest of his life, just to be able to get his three best friends back. Just to get his three best friends 10 more minutes on this earth....just so they could say goodbye to their families. Ever since the accident, Mark has tried to reach out to his friend that survived the car accident, but he refuses to talk to him, knowing it would bring up such terrible memories. Mark calls his friend every time that he is in California near where he resides.......but is always ignored.
Today Mark travels the country sharing his story with millions. Constantly filling eyes with tears, and bring students to the realization that this scenario is REAL. This could be a story in your life, in just one blink of an eye. It's important to tell our families, friends, fraternity brothers and sorority sisters how much we love and appreciate them, because we never know when the last time we'll ever see them could be. Be the change in your community, and help make sure this doesn't happen to you or someone you know. Mark was just like you and I, saying "I wouldn't....I wouldn't.....that's not me", but it became him....and he will never be able to live another day in his life, without thinking about his three brothers that died. Do more than just tell your loved one's that you care about them, truly show them and make a difference in their lives.
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Final Day
I can’t believe it’s already the last night of NGLA. I feel
like I just got here, but in that short time I have learned so much about
leadership in Greek life. This morning’s presentation was Phired Up, which I’m
sure many of you Greeks at home remember from a few years ago when they came to
BSU for a full day workshop. Although this presentation only lasted an hour, it
was a nice refresher course for me on Social Excellence and I had a pretty
great conversation with a brother of Alpha Sigma Phi from New Jersey. I hope
everyone else from BSU had some quality conversations this morning too.
There have been a lot of new ideas flying around here at NGLA,
but it can be difficult to implement those ideas after returning to campus. At
my first session of the day, “Making Change Happen: Understanding How to
Implement your Action Plan”, I got some great strategies for bringing new ideas
to life. Something really shocking that I learned at this session was that,
apparently I’m only going to remember 20% of what I learned this weekend (it’s
okay though, my notebook agreed to handle the rest) and all of you at home will
only remember 20% of what I bring back! (that’s 4%, I had to use a calculator
too, don’t worry). Good news though, the presentation included strategies to
increase and maximize that percentage, and I guarantee that I will be bringing
back much more than 4% of what I learned.
I was lucky enough to get one of the last chairs in Antonio Neves’s
session “How to Create Your Own Luck” (or maybe I created my own luck to get
that chair? Not going to lie, I power-walked over when someone said there was
an empty seat). He gave some really great advice which I plan to apply to both
my fraternity and my personal life. There was far too much information in that
session for me to type out in a blog (we’ll be here forever), and I’m still
working on fully processing the ideas, but it never occurred to me until today
that luck doesn’t just happen by chance. As Antonio Neves put it, Luck = opportunity
+ preparation, and looking back on times that I’ve had “good luck” that’s
basically been the formula.
This afternoon, I finally got to meet some of my fellow
local organizations at the Affiliation Luncheon and the final education session
“Where’s the Local?” led by Chris Centi. I was surprised to find that there
were more local representatives than the ones I had met at the luncheon, and
that we all share a lot of the same struggles. But while we had to focus on
some of the more difficult parts of being a local organization, it also
reminded me why I’m proud to be local. While I love Greek Life as a whole,
there was definitely a different culture in that room which made me feel at
home.
For now though, I am exhausted after an exciting weekend and
I’m ready to head back to BSU. I can’t wait to see everyone in Phi Pi Delta and
share my experience!
Goodnight Bears, it’s been awesome.
Phired Up, Lucky, Engaged, and Less Awkward.
NGLA 2015 came to a close today and although I'm sad it's already over, I'm excited to bring what I learned back to campus. I'm so lucky to have had the change to listen to the words of so many brilliant speakers. It's amazing how the words of one person can change and improve the ideas of so many. I started my day out with talking to strangers who became my friends. Together we learned how to have meaningful conversations and we learned much more about each other than if we used the standard: what's your major, where are you from,.... Instead we asked questions that displayed generosity and understanding. Then I learned how to be less awkward, which I didn't think was possible (shout out to my deepher fam; #awkwardfam). There I learned a lot more useful tips on how to be someone who is a good listener (shout out to the kid who walked in late with a juice box). Not totally sure if I'm less awkward though...maybe a little. I then learned how to create my own luck, takeaway message: luck needs preparation, you can't climb Mt. Everest by accident. In the last presentation I learned how to get members more involved and engaged in chapter and events. Connect, care, and change. One of the highlights of the day was meeting my DPhiE sisters from other schools and learning about how their chapters run. I had the chance to sit down with someone who holds the same position as me. We exchanged ideas and talked about how the presentations we attended will impact our chapters. I'm so thankful to have had the opportunity to attend NGLA and I can't wait to go back to campus and inspire others to help us make change happen.
Last Day NGLA
At the beginning of this weekend I planned to learn things that I could take back to my chapter in order to change them. I was completely wrong in how I came into this wonderful experience. This weekend was a brand new world for me, I learned so many things not only about how our organizations can function better but about how I can personally be a better person. Learning about recruitment my first day was exciting and empowering. It made me think about the options I have next semester and the positions I am eligible to run for. The most impacting part of my last day at NGLA was one of the sessions I went too. I had originally planned to go to a session hosted by Stacy Nadeau however do to a stomach bug she couldn't make it. So somehow I found myself in Ballroom D listening to a man tell one of the most horrible personal stories I've ever heard. His name was Mark Sterner and he told us about his senior year in college and how a drunk driving accident killed his three close friends, he was the one driving. Going into this presentation I knew that it would impact me personally and that it would be hard to listen. What I didn't know was that I would personally reevaluate every mistake I've ever made that could have ended in a life changing moment like this one. He made you think about what it could possibly be like to go through this and then he told you how he went through it. Personally I am glad that fate put me in that room today because I learned a few things about life and if I can take anything back to my chapter I want it to be that we are all united by the same love we saw during recruitment and that we need to look out for each other because who else is going to look out for us if we make stupid decisions or turn our backs against one another. To say that this weekend was life changing would be far to much of an understatement. I learned things I never expected to learn and saw bonds form that I never expected to see, it was life changing and it made me realize a few amazing things. Not only do I love my organization so much more after this weekend but I have a new respect for our Greek community, my sisterhood, my friends, and my self. I can't wait to tell people what I experienced here but I also can't wait to inspire people into wanting to experience it for themselves.
Last Day of NGLA :(
Today was our last day at NGLA! Over the course of the weekend, there has been so much information packed into the different speakers, educational sessions and even lunch conversations. Just meeting with a few AST sisters today, I learned a lot about the different ways that they do things within their chapter as we compared things such as recruitment tactics, positions, etc. I love talking to sisters from my own organization because there is a huge sense of community present among us all. We all follow the same values, we all wear the same badge and we all live by the missions and purposes of our sorority. Having that all in common made it much more meaningful and significant to talk to fellow sisters.
On the other hand, some of the sessions I went to today were unbelieveable. I went to two sessions with speaker Sara Lowery. Sara brings so much passion and energy into every room that she enters while still keeping the conversation professional and to the point. One of the sessions I went to was called "Will Work For Leadership" which was all about how to ask our members to do things for us. The thing that stood out to me in that session was when she began explaining how to announce things to your chapter. Sara focused on the "why" behind everything. For example thinking about what is the purpose of going to this event or meeting and relating that back to your mission statement. When we are in Greek life we can forget very easily that the letters we wear hold behind them values from founders that were brothers and sisters hundreds of years ago. As a member of Greek life, we need to stand by these values in everything that we do including supporting each other's events. With this information, I plan to make my announcements in chapter much more passionate and worthwhile so that it's not just a list of dates and times.
What about you?
I am so sad that today is our last day! I have honestly had such a great time and learned so much on this trip. After my first disappointing session, I decided to go to a recruitment session since I'm so interested in panhellenic recruitment. On my way I stopped and for some strange reason entered a new session from a gut feeling. I had no idea what I was getting into at the time. The session had a DUI speaker that spoke so genuinely and to the point about his horrific experience of a drunk drive gone wrong and his three fraternity brothers dead. It was very powerful and moving and all of us were in tears. He put it in perspective for us in the socially term oiling society we live in as college students. He told us how he was the least drunk friend, how it was the last night of spring break and they decided to give themselves a break from a designated driver. He told us how they were only two miles away from our hotel. Like I said he really put it in perspective for us kids who are about to graduate and want to have fun and let loose and are only down the street from campus.
My next session changed my entire dynamic of this trip. Sara Lowery honestly changed my life, my leadership, my thinking, and my speech skills. She has this incredible way of first getting your attention, and then applying information to you and showing you how to apply it to your own real life situations instantly. I've had some troubles with getting my own organization to attend my panhel events. And let me tell you...it's embarrassing. TRUST ME. So when I told her this and she had me go up i front of 100 people and pretend they were my chapter and have me talk about my event...well that was even more embarrassing. She asked me something someone hasn't asked me in a long time. She said "Girlllll what is your mission statement? Now talk to this room as your chapter and tell them why they need to attend your events using that mission statement."
The next thing you know there is one single Phi Sig in the room encouraging me to go for it and I'm spitting off comments like "we should be attending these like our other panhellenic sororities because we pride ourselves on the advancement of womanhood. We should be there for each other as women and we should be aiming high by learning and gaining as much as we possibly can through these events." The next thing I saw was the entire room standing up and clapping for me. Sara taught me to be transparent. To not let fear overcome me. My being afraid to talk to my chapter because of what they might think or say is not and will not ever be acceptable for me again. These are my sisters and I owe it to myself, my panhellenic community, and my chapter to be the best leader that I can be.
I gained courage today. I walked in the face of fear today. What about you?
Ding Ding NGLA Round 2
Day 2 of my NGLA experience began with the unwelcoming sun shining through my window far too early in the morning followed by my 2nd time getting Starbucks ever and an over priced breakfast sandwich that was surprisingly delicious. I wasn't going to let that define my day though. My first meeting/keynote speaker, Corey, An Ethics teacher/former lawyer/ new father who gave us a life lesson on how to basically go throughout life with a few core ideas to live by such as laughing at ourselves. Despite everything he had said, nothing really drove home to me until he mentioned his daughter and how he "needed our brains". It wasn't a selfish thing to say; he meant that he needed us to be there for his daughter when she grows up. He wanted our generation to make ethical decisions in life so when we get to a point in our life when others are counting on us, we can perform our best. All Corey wanted was to know that his future a.k.a his new born, was going to grow up in a worked where people cared. We need to be those people.
After listening to Corey i was pretty amped about the rest of the day and was eager to see what was up next for me. Mike Westol, the former Executive Director of Theta Chi, who is without a doubt one of the most intelligent people I met during this conference. I had him for two sessions, Once by himself and once with Executive Director Mike Ayalon of Sigma Pi. Mr. Westol Knew almost everything there was to know abut hazing and was phenomenal at reading the culture of a chapter. Listening to him really made me reflect on everything that is done throughout greek life or my own chapter meetings and realize that although I believe we are at a good place, there is still more work that can be done to help improve our culture.
Over all I felt the first day was a success. I was able to learn about culture, hazing prevention, and had a phenomenal dinner at the Black Bear Saloon. I am looking forward to spending another great day with my fellow BSU members as well as the other organizations. Bring on more knowledge!
You Matter!
So basically, I'm obsessed with every single speaker that I've had so far. They are truly understand what situations and problems we are constantly running into, and all have different ways of going about resolving them.
David Stollman presented "Buy In or Get Out" which was definitely an eye opening presentation. At Bridgewater, we constantly pride ourselves in saying that we're different than other schools, and that we DO break that stereotype. But does it matter? If we aren't trying enough to help those other schools that are still the stereotype, than these stereotypes are truly never going to go away....but we are. If we don't try to help and reach out, soon it's going to be too late when we are all shut down, and the world won't want to give Greek Life a second chance. It takes that one chapter, or even just one person to bring down the ENTIRE Greek System. It's important to be proactive and help one another out. Break those stereotypes in your everyday life, and do everything you can to correct people when they speak negatively/ or wrong about our community. We are a Greek community, and it's time that we all work together to help the rest of the world truly understand what we stand for.
Lunch was bomb. I was fortunate enough to be sitting with not only Emily and Gina, but an entire group of members from Rhode Island College. There was two AST, one DPhiE, and another that I'm totally blanking on...BUT it was super fun to bond with them! There were all great people, and we had a blast just connecting over the smallest things that our chapters had in common. From making friends while stuffing our faces, we were able to make our way over to the Greek Boutique (wallets beware)!!! After finding out that the entire Deepher section was already destroyed and bought out, I found myself falling in love with the wicked expensive monogrammed sparkly mint green vneck. So naturally I just couldn't stop myself, and I bought a super expensive t-shirt that I will be picking up tomorrow.......so sorry bank account, I tried my best to refrain. The t-shirt won.
So.....can my spirit animal be a person I just met....because I LOVE Tina VanSteenBergen! Tina and Taylor were a great tag team when explaining the importance of retaining important members, and how we can make sure they are staying for the right reasons. It's often the case when people disaffiliate, that they feel no connection to anyone in their chapter, and feel that they no longer matter. But they do!!! Because everyone matters, ESPECIALLY YOU! :) Even the smallest thing like texting the people you often forget to recognize that mean so much to you: just do it! Make a daily effort to show how much people mean in your life, and how they really make a difference. In this moment Tina told us to take out our phones and text someone that is important to your chapter, that may not always be recognized. As I could probably name off a list of sisters that I should have been texting, I chose the rest of my Leadership Team. Having been only an executive board for 3 months together, we work very well....and can deal with any snow day that comes our way. I appreciate everything that they do for our chapter, and I know that because of them we are the chapter that we are today. Thank you to my ENTIRE chapter on being an incredible group of women. I am so thankful that you all believed in me enough to elect me as your president, and I will do everything in my power to make sure you know you ALL matter to me. YITS <3
David Stollman presented "Buy In or Get Out" which was definitely an eye opening presentation. At Bridgewater, we constantly pride ourselves in saying that we're different than other schools, and that we DO break that stereotype. But does it matter? If we aren't trying enough to help those other schools that are still the stereotype, than these stereotypes are truly never going to go away....but we are. If we don't try to help and reach out, soon it's going to be too late when we are all shut down, and the world won't want to give Greek Life a second chance. It takes that one chapter, or even just one person to bring down the ENTIRE Greek System. It's important to be proactive and help one another out. Break those stereotypes in your everyday life, and do everything you can to correct people when they speak negatively/ or wrong about our community. We are a Greek community, and it's time that we all work together to help the rest of the world truly understand what we stand for.
Lunch was bomb. I was fortunate enough to be sitting with not only Emily and Gina, but an entire group of members from Rhode Island College. There was two AST, one DPhiE, and another that I'm totally blanking on...BUT it was super fun to bond with them! There were all great people, and we had a blast just connecting over the smallest things that our chapters had in common. From making friends while stuffing our faces, we were able to make our way over to the Greek Boutique (wallets beware)!!! After finding out that the entire Deepher section was already destroyed and bought out, I found myself falling in love with the wicked expensive monogrammed sparkly mint green vneck. So naturally I just couldn't stop myself, and I bought a super expensive t-shirt that I will be picking up tomorrow.......so sorry bank account, I tried my best to refrain. The t-shirt won.
So.....can my spirit animal be a person I just met....because I LOVE Tina VanSteenBergen! Tina and Taylor were a great tag team when explaining the importance of retaining important members, and how we can make sure they are staying for the right reasons. It's often the case when people disaffiliate, that they feel no connection to anyone in their chapter, and feel that they no longer matter. But they do!!! Because everyone matters, ESPECIALLY YOU! :) Even the smallest thing like texting the people you often forget to recognize that mean so much to you: just do it! Make a daily effort to show how much people mean in your life, and how they really make a difference. In this moment Tina told us to take out our phones and text someone that is important to your chapter, that may not always be recognized. As I could probably name off a list of sisters that I should have been texting, I chose the rest of my Leadership Team. Having been only an executive board for 3 months together, we work very well....and can deal with any snow day that comes our way. I appreciate everything that they do for our chapter, and I know that because of them we are the chapter that we are today. Thank you to my ENTIRE chapter on being an incredible group of women. I am so thankful that you all believed in me enough to elect me as your president, and I will do everything in my power to make sure you know you ALL matter to me. YITS <3
NGLA and Lots of Workshops!
Today was the first day of NGLA and we got to do a ton of fun workshops to gain information to take back to our chapter!
We started the day with a keynote speaker, Corey Ciochetti who talked about ethics, values and integrity in the greek life setting. I really loved this keynote. I feel like Corey really related what he was saying to himself. He wasn't just telling us tips or plans, he gave us actual stories and ways he has made mistakes. It made the presentation funny along with being informative. What hit me the most was definitely the end though when he asked the audience to live by the values we took an oath to uphold. He asked us if not for us, then for his child, who will be living in a world we are leaving, and then our children after that. The way it was presented was very profound. He didn't tell us to change to make ourselves better because we should, he asked us to change and be upstanding people for his daughter and our kids.
After the keynote there were three information sessions. The first one I went to was called "Are You My Mentor" presented by Tim Mousseau of Campus Speak. I wasn't sure what to expect going into this workshop and was pleasantly surprised. I really liked how the mentor-mentee role was worked into greek life.I was challenged to think of what being a mentor actually means and we discussed the foundation of a formal mentorship; consistency, goals and expectations, ground rules and accountability. This is individual mentoring and once this is accomplished, we can move onto community mentoring. Every member in the chapter should be on an equal playing field to have a great mentor relationship. This process of mentoring is renewable, once this culture of mentoring is obtained it can be continued and become a healthy habitat to improve a chapter. The last process is community mentoring. community mentoring can't be obtained without the other two type of mentoring known and in place. Community mentoring is about helping those chapters in your greek life that could use the extra push. The tasks to accomplish this include strong, powerful conversations; building relationships with people you normal wouldn't go to; setting your expectations across the board and holding chapters accountable for your expectations of them so they can improve.
The second workshop was called (Deliberate) Practice Makes Perfect presented by Dr. Joel Nunez. This was a great workshop about confidence and believing you can do what you put your mind to if you put the intense effort in. There were three steps to doing this; dymythify, deconstruct and develop. Everyone wants the good time but doesn't want to put in the work for it. In order to accomplish mastery and eventually fluency you need intense and deliberate sustained effort and passion.
My last workshop was about Naysayers in the chapter and greek community. It was a very interactive session where we discussed the archetypes that can bring down a chapter, as well as negative comments and discussions and how to combat them. A great thing I learned was that usually the complaints you get are something deeper than what they are discussing. This requires work to figure out the problem and to solve it. Some responses we discussed range from comments like "that's dumb" to "I don't understand" to "that sounds like a lot of work". As a group we talked about constructive responses and how to solve these questions and comments that are asked or made all too often.
Overall I learned a lot today and I can't wait until tomorrow!
We started the day with a keynote speaker, Corey Ciochetti who talked about ethics, values and integrity in the greek life setting. I really loved this keynote. I feel like Corey really related what he was saying to himself. He wasn't just telling us tips or plans, he gave us actual stories and ways he has made mistakes. It made the presentation funny along with being informative. What hit me the most was definitely the end though when he asked the audience to live by the values we took an oath to uphold. He asked us if not for us, then for his child, who will be living in a world we are leaving, and then our children after that. The way it was presented was very profound. He didn't tell us to change to make ourselves better because we should, he asked us to change and be upstanding people for his daughter and our kids.
After the keynote there were three information sessions. The first one I went to was called "Are You My Mentor" presented by Tim Mousseau of Campus Speak. I wasn't sure what to expect going into this workshop and was pleasantly surprised. I really liked how the mentor-mentee role was worked into greek life.I was challenged to think of what being a mentor actually means and we discussed the foundation of a formal mentorship; consistency, goals and expectations, ground rules and accountability. This is individual mentoring and once this is accomplished, we can move onto community mentoring. Every member in the chapter should be on an equal playing field to have a great mentor relationship. This process of mentoring is renewable, once this culture of mentoring is obtained it can be continued and become a healthy habitat to improve a chapter. The last process is community mentoring. community mentoring can't be obtained without the other two type of mentoring known and in place. Community mentoring is about helping those chapters in your greek life that could use the extra push. The tasks to accomplish this include strong, powerful conversations; building relationships with people you normal wouldn't go to; setting your expectations across the board and holding chapters accountable for your expectations of them so they can improve.
The second workshop was called (Deliberate) Practice Makes Perfect presented by Dr. Joel Nunez. This was a great workshop about confidence and believing you can do what you put your mind to if you put the intense effort in. There were three steps to doing this; dymythify, deconstruct and develop. Everyone wants the good time but doesn't want to put in the work for it. In order to accomplish mastery and eventually fluency you need intense and deliberate sustained effort and passion.
My last workshop was about Naysayers in the chapter and greek community. It was a very interactive session where we discussed the archetypes that can bring down a chapter, as well as negative comments and discussions and how to combat them. A great thing I learned was that usually the complaints you get are something deeper than what they are discussing. This requires work to figure out the problem and to solve it. Some responses we discussed range from comments like "that's dumb" to "I don't understand" to "that sounds like a lot of work". As a group we talked about constructive responses and how to solve these questions and comments that are asked or made all too often.
Overall I learned a lot today and I can't wait until tomorrow!
Reporting live from the Pajama jammie jam
Reporting
live from the Pajama Jammie Jam or the room right next store cause who can blog
when ya’ll be yelling playing catch phrase. But anyways, today was a great day. After
dividing up the sessions yesterday figuring out who will go where I ended up with
the last available session, really because the word Foreplay was included in
the title so no one wanted to attend. So I went off to my session From Friendship
to Foreplay to forever! With a very skeptical audience we braced ourselves for
the unknown. This session turned out to be the best session I have been to.
Andrea Mosby talked about knowing your color blue. Meaning there are many
different shades of blue, so when you are talking to someone you could be
talking light blue but they could be talking dark blue. So first we must figure
out our own color blue. Andrea did an amazing job talking about something that
every college student can relate to, the Friends with benefits epidemic that is
plaguing young peoples relationships. Andrea focused on the fact that even
though there are no strings attached and it is safe sex it is not actually
safe. By giving yourself to someone you leave them with a piece of you and you
with a piece of them. By knowing your color blue and others color blue you can
protect the whole person. You can focus on your goals and dreams, because you
are not clouded. Speaking of clouded my head hurts so Im done! Good night!
Full Day of Workshops Woo!
Today was our first full day (from morning until around 8 or 9pm) of workshops all day!!! Learning about Greek Life is so great because there are always ways to make our chapters better and ourselves better leaders as well. The first session I went to today was about having "Crucial Conversations." These conversations are often those that make us anxious or that we try to avoid. As a person, I am very non-confrontational. My leadership strengths focus more on harmony and development of members. However, this workshop helped me a lot to learn how to make those scary conversations a little less scary. There was a seven step module given to all of us for ways to tackle situations head on instead of running away from them. The most important thing that I will take away from this session is this idea of having a shared outcome. When entering conversations that are difficult to talk about, if the person in either party doesn't necessarily know what the desired outcome is, it just creates people running in circles. Having this idea of a shared outcome also gives people more of an understanding as to why they may be at this meeting so they become less defensive and more gets accomplished.
One of the other sessions that I attended was about retaining our members. Recruitment is often times emphasized in Greek life but after people become new members, retaining those members often falls to the wayside. Over 110,000 members disaffiliate from Greek organizations every year by choice. This number is much too high for the standards that we have as a Greek community to making our members feel important. Something that was talked about during this sessions that I really took away was making all members feel like they matter. Greek organizations (especially sororities) can often become cliquey where members don't include other members or just stick within their group. This isn't so much bullying as it is not making members in our chapters feel like they matter. In everything we do, members play a large part. Whether a person is a general member, director, on E-board, etc. they truly do matter to the organization. For my organization, I hope to begin to do things to make more members feel like they matter. My goal for this semester, for myself, is to start to pay more compliments and respect where due and show more members how much they do matter to the chapter.
One of the other sessions that I attended was about retaining our members. Recruitment is often times emphasized in Greek life but after people become new members, retaining those members often falls to the wayside. Over 110,000 members disaffiliate from Greek organizations every year by choice. This number is much too high for the standards that we have as a Greek community to making our members feel important. Something that was talked about during this sessions that I really took away was making all members feel like they matter. Greek organizations (especially sororities) can often become cliquey where members don't include other members or just stick within their group. This isn't so much bullying as it is not making members in our chapters feel like they matter. In everything we do, members play a large part. Whether a person is a general member, director, on E-board, etc. they truly do matter to the organization. For my organization, I hope to begin to do things to make more members feel like they matter. My goal for this semester, for myself, is to start to pay more compliments and respect where due and show more members how much they do matter to the chapter.
A Brand New World
Although it pains me to wake up any time before 10am on an average day, today I woke up and was ready to start the first day of sessions. The only thing I needed to start my day off was a coffee... Unfortunately the one I bought was lukewarm.
The opening keynote speaker was Professor Corey Ciochetti from CAMPUSPEAK - who came in with a really genuine and insightful message. Professor C talked about how to build and maintain an authentic life according to our values and ideals. I really enjoyed the messages he relayed to us during his time, as I wasn't expecting that from somebody outside of the Greek Life system. In his ending notes, Professor C talked about hustle and laughter being two key themes to living an authentic life. His message was different than one I would've expected to hear at 9am in the morning - but I'm glad NGLA gave us this opportunity to hear his story... One that isn't as related to Greek Life in its entirety.
For my first session of the day, I attended "Why Do We Expect Members to Do a Job They Do Not Know?" presented by Cory Bosco. I decided to go to this session because I wanted to find ways to better enhance the transitions process in my chapter and potentially learn ways to better motivate the membership that don't know how to do their roles correctly (even if it's not their fault). From this session I took away a lot of key things such as setting the expectations of the Chair and Committees as well as teaching these roles during the new member process... Something I would definitely like to bring back to my chapter. One of the biggest problems in my chapter is people not knowing how to do their position because they're more or less thrown into it immediately after pledging. In order for our committee structure to be effective, we must bring forth efforts to implant change in the way that is being handled.
My second session of the day was "Sexual Assault Prevention, Consent, and the Bystander Effect," presented by Sigma Pi CEO Michael Ayalon. Mike is coming to BSU for Greek Week to present the same presentation, so I was looking forward to getting a sneak peek! The presentation was awesome and Mike really drove home the points that connected with the room about Greeks needing to step up and lead the charge on this. I think this is a solid presentation that the BSU community will enjoy when Mike comes. After the session, I talked with Mike for a little bit about Sigma Pi stuff and really enjoyed networking with one of the highest executives in Sigma Pi Fraternity, International. Through talking with him and the numerous other Sigma Pi's at this conference, I'm reaffirming my belief that I want to go into a Student Affairs and eventually work for Sigma Pi as an executive office staff member.
The third and final session I went to was called "Leading at The Edge," presented by Kevin Pons and Brittany Mahann. This is the third session in a row I went to where a Sigma Pi was presenting... Totally unintentional. This session revolved around the idea of leadership styles and how we lead our chapters while sometimes stretching ourselves thin and essentially 'leading at the edge'. The concepts themselves were pretty simple, but I enjoyed the format of having the 9 methods laid out for us... Plus I took away a neat handout (I enjoy tangible takeaways)! This session helped me outline changes that I want to make in my chapter, even though sometimes I feel stressed trying to get these things done.
The day concluded with dinner at a great pub & restaurant... Where I finally got a burger AND pulled pork all in one magnificent sandwich. After the restaurant, we all headed down to evening entertainment where we briefly enjoyed the green screen photo booth and a glow dance party. The conference is offering some nifty things in terms of what to do in our spare time... But Yik-Yak is still on fire. Once we got back to the rooms, we had the long awaited "pajama jammy jam." All in all, this was a fantastic day 1 to NGLA! I'm enjoying all of the bonding with the delegation and actually taking things away from the first day of sessions.
The opening keynote speaker was Professor Corey Ciochetti from CAMPUSPEAK - who came in with a really genuine and insightful message. Professor C talked about how to build and maintain an authentic life according to our values and ideals. I really enjoyed the messages he relayed to us during his time, as I wasn't expecting that from somebody outside of the Greek Life system. In his ending notes, Professor C talked about hustle and laughter being two key themes to living an authentic life. His message was different than one I would've expected to hear at 9am in the morning - but I'm glad NGLA gave us this opportunity to hear his story... One that isn't as related to Greek Life in its entirety.
For my first session of the day, I attended "Why Do We Expect Members to Do a Job They Do Not Know?" presented by Cory Bosco. I decided to go to this session because I wanted to find ways to better enhance the transitions process in my chapter and potentially learn ways to better motivate the membership that don't know how to do their roles correctly (even if it's not their fault). From this session I took away a lot of key things such as setting the expectations of the Chair and Committees as well as teaching these roles during the new member process... Something I would definitely like to bring back to my chapter. One of the biggest problems in my chapter is people not knowing how to do their position because they're more or less thrown into it immediately after pledging. In order for our committee structure to be effective, we must bring forth efforts to implant change in the way that is being handled.
My second session of the day was "Sexual Assault Prevention, Consent, and the Bystander Effect," presented by Sigma Pi CEO Michael Ayalon. Mike is coming to BSU for Greek Week to present the same presentation, so I was looking forward to getting a sneak peek! The presentation was awesome and Mike really drove home the points that connected with the room about Greeks needing to step up and lead the charge on this. I think this is a solid presentation that the BSU community will enjoy when Mike comes. After the session, I talked with Mike for a little bit about Sigma Pi stuff and really enjoyed networking with one of the highest executives in Sigma Pi Fraternity, International. Through talking with him and the numerous other Sigma Pi's at this conference, I'm reaffirming my belief that I want to go into a Student Affairs and eventually work for Sigma Pi as an executive office staff member.
The third and final session I went to was called "Leading at The Edge," presented by Kevin Pons and Brittany Mahann. This is the third session in a row I went to where a Sigma Pi was presenting... Totally unintentional. This session revolved around the idea of leadership styles and how we lead our chapters while sometimes stretching ourselves thin and essentially 'leading at the edge'. The concepts themselves were pretty simple, but I enjoyed the format of having the 9 methods laid out for us... Plus I took away a neat handout (I enjoy tangible takeaways)! This session helped me outline changes that I want to make in my chapter, even though sometimes I feel stressed trying to get these things done.
The day concluded with dinner at a great pub & restaurant... Where I finally got a burger AND pulled pork all in one magnificent sandwich. After the restaurant, we all headed down to evening entertainment where we briefly enjoyed the green screen photo booth and a glow dance party. The conference is offering some nifty things in terms of what to do in our spare time... But Yik-Yak is still on fire. Once we got back to the rooms, we had the long awaited "pajama jammy jam." All in all, this was a fantastic day 1 to NGLA! I'm enjoying all of the bonding with the delegation and actually taking things away from the first day of sessions.
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